Through a series of kids’ television show and movies, teachers, and religious leaders it is drilled into us as children to always be kind to others. I think all of us start out with good intentions… but somewhere along the way life happens and other aspects of our being seem to become more important. Sometimes we show a “not so nice” side of ourselves when we want to fit in. Other times it’s a defense mechanism that we have developed over time due to others’ inability to show kindness to us, creating a sense of cynicism. Being unkind has no real positive benefit. It reduces even the most beautiful woman or handsome man down to the ugliest version of themselves. Just food for thought. If the most handsome man on the planet or the most beautiful woman in the world was standing in front of you spewing extremely unkind words about another human being or berating others without any evidence to back it up, many would only be able to stand there and listen to it for so long before they could no longer be present in the conversation. What if that same beautiful woman or handsome man was blatantly hurting another individual just because they could…because putting down another person made them feel bigger? To many, that person’s looks will begin to lose their luster. They no longer appear as beautiful or as handsome as they once did, instead revealing the true nature of who they are and revealing that these individuals are usually shallow, insecure or both and the only way that they can feel better about themselves is by being mean to someone else.
Being cruel or unkind to another person will not win you any friends. In fact, if anything, over time it will leave you lonely with few or even no friends. No one likes being around people who thrive on finding fault in others. In fact, those who are constantly criticizing others and showing a lack of empathy often have problems in their professional and social lives. When someone struggles to see things beyond their own viewpoint, without considering that different individuals see the world from different perspectives (depending on their experiences and upbringing), conflicts can quickly escalate into major issues. In time those friendships and relationships start to unravel due to the constant criticism and lack of empathy that foster resentment and cause an emotional distance. Eventually, most unkind and critical people end up alone and almost all of them are miserable.
I choose to be kind. Not because I think I am better than anyone else, but because I know what it is like to be treated unkindly. I have dealt with unkind people my whole life. I have watched people put other people down because they didn’t have the nicest things or because they were poor. I have watched people emotionally rip another person to shreds just because they wanted to feel better about themselves and putting down another person seemed to do the trick in the moment (I would almost bet that most of those individuals are still miserable to this day). I, myself, have also been the target of several miserable people’s lack of love, compassion or empathy. I know what it’s like to sit up all night long at 16 years old while your mother very carefully used peanut butter to dislodge over 50 BB sized pieces of gum from your waist length hair…all because some girls in your choir class thought it would be fun to torture the new girl (that they hated). I didn’t do anything. It wasn’t the first time, but probably the most painful and memorable time.
I suppose I could have allowed all of the times someone was unkind to me, ruin me. I could have let it make me bitter or taken the ugly things they said to heart (and maybe I do a little sometimes because I am only human). Instead of allowing the ugliness of the world change me, I choose instead to treat those that are the cruelest to me with the most compassion. I mean, how miserable do you have to be to be deliberately hurtful to someone who would never be cruel to you?
SO, be kind. Kindness is a beautiful thing, and it is contagious! Just like a yawn or smile….